Editor’s note: This hypothetically open letter was originally posted by its anonymous author on Medium and was rapidly removed as “hate speech.” We found it to be a refreshing dose of honesty, a charming and relatable open letter from one parent to other parents (not to the child, obviously!) about dealing with a challenging and dangerous moment in raising children, especially “weird” adolescents who search for their identities harder than others and risk making life-damaging mistakes in a way never before possible. We are reposting it here on New Discourses with the permission of the author.
My dear, sweet, son,
I’ve got to break it to you: you’re not trans, you’re just weird.
This seems like a cruel thing to point out right now. Clearly, you are struggling and feeling pretty awful about things. I can see that you are in a rough patch, and one of the first rules of parenting is to not pile on. The world is pretty heavy on your shoulders. You’re fifteen. There’s a pandemic going on. But here I come anyway. I’m about to throw more on you.
When you were two – a happy, chubby, little tyke in pull-ups, you watched the world with wary eyes behind the thumb in your mouth. You leapt with joy in the rhythm of the toddle music classes. You chattered and shared stories about your stuffed animals. You loved your little sister. Enjoyed cookies and finger painting. That was all pretty normal.
But you also started to count to one thousand on our walks. And you started to call out the store names as we drove around. And you preferred reading books rather than playing with the other two-year-olds at preschool. And you hated sitting in the circle when instructed. And you hated the feel of blue jeans. And you threw big tantrums when you lost any kind of game. In other words, you started to show signs that you were… weird.
The grandparents were the first to notice. They said gentle things like “You oughta keep an eye on that one,” and sent us links to Wall Street Journal articles about child prodigies. And then the other parents in the play groups started to comment; “He’s pretty intense, huh?” And the teachers were on to it pretty quickly. They started to use fancy terms like “asynchronous development.”
By third grade, we realized you were different, but we still didn’t realize you were weird. Truthfully, we’re used to people like you. Our family is full of engineers, artists, musicians, computer programmers, and a lot of “free-thinkers.” Family gatherings always have chess, political debates, and quartets around the piano. That’s just us.
And besides, you had a small but solid group of friends. There was Pokémon, then Minecraft, then Magic, then Dungeons and Dragons, then Catan. You were never in the center of things, but you weren’t alone.
But then, in middle school, things started to change. By 7th grade, school finally started to require some effort, and it turned out you were pretty disorganized. People kept calling you smart, but the teachers were annoyed at your humor, and frustrated that you wouldn’t or couldn’t follow the guidelines for assignments. Classmates didn’t appreciate your frank (if accurate) descriptions of their efforts. I’ll admit, we got pretty frustrated with you, too.
And then puberty arrived, with its triple curse of acne, braces, and bizarre growth. The girls appeared to have it all together (I know they don’t, but they do appear that way). And the popular boys seemed to know exactly what to do. They can talk sports to each other, they brag about their romantic exploits. They never get in trouble for stupid reasons like forgetting an assignment three times in a row. Your anxiety started to kick in, and it seemed like you got smaller. And some of your guy friends moved on.
So you drifted over to the weird-o crowd. Well — I’m not sure what you call yourselves, but that’s what we would have called you back when I was in school. At different schools these are the geeks, or the theater kids, the math team kids, or the artsy-fartsy kids. This used to be where the gay kids ended up, but I think they’re more dispersed now. You get some kids whose parents are going through some rough times. Some girls with anorexia. A few boys who are edgy and angry. Kids with a great sense of humor and big hearts.
And some of these kids are really passionate. Just full of righteous anger about the injustices of the world. And some of them are dramatic. And truthfully, that looks pretty attractive to you. Because you share some of that confusion and anger about the world. And though you may not be sure what you think or what you feel, you are certain you don’t want to be on the bad side. You certainly aren’t like those popular boys with their suave charm and dominating manners. You’re not like them at all.
You’re actually more like those vibrant girls who can speak for hours about their ideas. Well, you would be if you could find the words to speak. And there is something so fascinating about those girls, but you can’t quite put your finger on it. You’d never think about talking to those girls anyway, because that’d be weird. Because you are weird. You’ve never been good at chit-chat, or eye contact. Or girls. And besides, you wouldn’t want them to get the wrong impression. You understand that your peers are starting to date, but you really don’t see the point. Sex is still gross and weird to you. It’s better to just call yourself “asexual” or “pansexual.” It’s like a get-out-of-jail-free card that helps you avoid the whole mess. And your group of friends tell you that you are super cool and brave for being able to say that about yourself.
But you’ve fallen into a funk. Anyone can see that. But computer games help. And there’s always trying to beat the speed record for that one game you’re kinda good at. And that one guy on reddit always has good tricks. And the people on that message board seem to get your humor.
So when one of them posts a meme about trans rights, it makes sense that you’d check it out. You’re curious! You’re a free thinker! You’re not like the normies. And the web quiz hits home. You do feel discomfort with your body. You don’t like sports. You do wonder what it would be like to be a girl. You’ve always felt like something was different about you.
You’re right. There is something different about you.
But you’re not trans, you’re just weird.
So we’re right here for you. We’ll always be here for you. But those online folks who urge you to “crack your trans egg” and rush to hormones and surgeries don’t know you at all. They don’t know that gifted kids and ADHD kids and Autism kids and Asperger’s kids are slower to develop emotionally and sexually. They don’t know that sexuality takes time and experience to figure out, and that the majority of trans teens seeking medical treatment haven’t even masturbated or kissed someone yet. They don’t know that 80% of trans children end up becoming comfortable with their birth sex if you just give them time. They don’t know that there are increasing numbers of desisting and de-transitioning people in their twenties. They don’t realize that hormones permanently stunt your growth, decrease your IQ, and can cause sterility. They don’t know that these hormones are prescribed off-label and there’s no research on the long-term outcomes. They don’t even know that the most recent research shows that short-term outcomes are clearly worse.
They don’t realize that you’re weird. But I do. You’re weird, kiddo. You’ll figure that out in a year or two. But that’s okay. We are all weird. And I love you anyway. You’re going to be just fine.
153 comments
I’d go further. Sorry to break it to you, son, you are painfully mediocre and forgettable. Your attempts at being interesting has drawn you to a group of people who have filled your head with twaddle and led you to create a caricature of a woman. Not a woman who has lived the experience of being a woman. A boy in women’s clothing. You can shout all you like about your rights, hate and what pronouns people have to use. You are still mediocre and forgettable. And the sad thing is, you could have addressed that by living a life and being interested in other people. Instead, you just pretend to be a woman.
This comment section can be summed up as:
I actually know people more than they know themselves, transgender people don’t exist, and this fictional group is indoctrinating our children (even though there’s no proof backing this claim).
The post can be summed up in the exact same sentence.
Western society is completely, utterly, unquestionably bored. We no longer have any real troubles, like survival and finding food to eat or grow, nor a common purpose, like settling the wilderness and building towns and cities. So some of us are inventing ridiculous drama, like the trans “movement” to inject an idea of purpose into their lives. Never forget the fact that a lot of the money behind this movement is coming from people who have a vested interest in the perpetual medical expenses to be derived from a lifetime of hormone treatments and physical upkeep needed after transitioning (the Stryker medical equipment heirs, Big Pharma, etc). Individuals suffering from body or gender dysmorphia aren’t necessarily evil, but the hideous creatures pushing the movement certainly are. Protect your kids from these predators in rainbow clothing.
Transgender movement is exactly what feminist women have been waiting for for decades, to expand definition of womanhood and femaleness, to bring more fuel to undermine the patriarchy that keeps people stuck in boxes and definitions, which trans people are finally liberating us from, they are the force of great divine mother and feminine mysteries to bring needed revolution to this world. We have finally awakened that there really is no trans ideology, but a true trans biology as science has been showing us for years over and over again, study after study, biological differences are clear, yet patriarchal system tried to pin them down as an idea, and idealogy, and not a self evident experience of their own existence, even at 2 years old, no different from knowing that you are hetero or homosexual, or your genetic talents are for this or that, it’s a deep knowing. Publi acceptance of them will help all of us to unify at a much higher spiritual level. This is not what patriarchy wants, they seek division.
Painful truth is that all true transsexual beings in this world are born under the masculine force of patriarchal oppression by being deprived of owning their own body itself, they are automatically born slaves, not sovereign beings. Many feminists by nature are willingly blind to this, because they tend to value more the body of a woman than the woman itself, that is where is the major paradox of human ego fighting and yet enforcing sexism in its focus. Humans tend to establish social groups that they call the brotherhood or sisterhood consisting of friends so they could feel at home and part of those who understand them, imagine many trans children/adults who never had it, because they didn’t belong in either group, at least pre-transition, they are lost in a society still trapped by the illusion of material reality.
There is no bigger truth than a self evident experience of our own existence. If you are firmly in touch with your soul body, no external idea or belief is stronger than that. To change our life based on this truth requires days, weeks, months and years of deep soul searching, learning to listen to and embody our higher self, because it is critical in decisions that could end up costing our life or health, only our rational ego tries to interfere to scare us, to prevent us from ever yielding to God’s will to be our true selves in this world and end once and for all the illusion of material reality as the basis for what or who we are. We are born to be the destroyers of the old world, not by ideology, but by our own existence, we don’t have to do anything, just exist as true as we are, handicapped men and women born into the body that reflects the opposite sex. it’s been a dream of many of us since we were little oppressed by how we look and people’s expectations of it, it is helping to liberate us from the traps of labels and rigid constructs of the material 3D reality.
You have an interesting take but since you are on this site you should understand that your view would be seen as a more relativist, post-modern take that is based on your own personal feelings. Other cultures would disagree with your conceptions of masculinity and femininity. Some would see the oppressing, controlling force as being feminine in essence. Donna M’s letter, which you are commenting on, uses a much less grand, much less subjective frame proposing that this is not a matter of all people being oppressed by culture, but simply that there are perhaps always will be weirdos and discontents, that’s a healthy and normal part of humanity. I would say I am one, and I definitely would say you are.
This is black isrealite levels of delusion
I mean isn’t a man becoming a “woman” the patriarchy winning? How can people say, “fight the patriarchy if a man is pretending to be a woman and invading a woman’s space or winning awards meant for women? This is delusional. There is no such thing as a female or male brain. Sex is very real. This is complete madness. Trans rights are men’s rights.
Amen
Psychopath
Just smile politely folks, you are witnessing mental illness in action.
You will never be a woman
The trans Movement is the Patriarchy. The fact that men want to change their behavior or wardrobe. Hair, makeup, and accessories simply means can obviously do this. It doesn’t turn them into anything other than men who do this.
What‘s cogito, ergo sum, anyways? Objective reality? – Never heard of her.
You invoked the name in vain, yet you, except for the polish of your speech, might not be so different from Ivan Karamazov, suffering greatly. Perhaps you will redeem yourself. I don‘t think you‘d deny needing redemption.
I’m sorry, I’m not buying it. More of extremely complex victim thinking. There are challenges to being male in this life and challenges to being female. Thinking that the other is what you really need is a huge case of “grass is always greener on the other side.“ Children are particularly prone to ideas of this sort. I recall thinking at various points in my youth that girls had it a lot easier than me. For one thing, they could get laid anytime they wanted or so I thought. There was a lot I didn’t yet understand.
I’m not big on drag queens in much of what passes for gender fluidity, because I know that men are biologically predisposed to wanting to F anything that moves much more than women. Hiding behind the greater reserve that women usually possess is a wee bit insidious.
It’s pretty clear to me there any transgender person has voluntarily weakened themself. A trans woman is not going to have the hidden, mysterious, quasi magical skills of pheromonal attraction, to say nothing of energy field/aura that is hard to describe or explain, but is one of those things that when you feel it, you know it and it really gets your attention.
I was once a massage therapist at a notorious Hot Springs resort in NorCal. I was told I was a good looking man, I had several trans women flirt with me and make it clear they wanted a warm water enabled massage developed in our community, generally a sensuous affair, perhaps too sensuous.
I obliged their wishes, I was a generous, freethinking man, why not? At no point in any of them did I feel that magic spark of genuine, sexual attraction. I was massaging a man, cute chem boobies notwithstanding. Transgenderism is a false promises, a cruel hoax. It is incredible hubris to think we humans could manipulate millions of years of evolution and make genuine sexual attraction dance to our tune.
Hormones do NOT stunt growth, puberty blockers can, but only for bio boys or girls, not trans boys and girls. There are no studies showing any growth was stunted for trans people by hormones, in fact their own natural growth in their biological body is stunted by not deeloping fully emotionally and psychologically, hormones can reveal for them true sexual orientation, interests and desires. And neither decrease IQ, do some research, they talk only about hormone suppressors. Children need to go on hormones right away, not pubert blockers anyway to get them on the right path of life as soon as possible, the more they wait the more difficulty in life to lead a fulfilling life as trans, the point is to have a GREAT gender therapist who can tell based on the studies of their brain and body physiology who is deeply set to be trans. Dont be so sure that kids who are just weird dont end up trans afterall, theres a lot of repression and self denial in trans kids, because they want to be like other NORMAL kids, I would not ever dare to tell anyone if they are trans or not, they need to know themselves more than YOU or I do, we can only allow them to go into deeper soul searching by giving them new questions. What is important though of course is gender affirming if their psychological state depends on that.
Hahahaha pmsl lol
funny how we that are weird has to get angry and forceful in the defending one’s weirdness. As the delusion of forceful dialog is the way to engage conversation. Angery energy , who has the patient to hear when energy is forceful. When one loses one’s anger why should we listen. Anger only attracts anger.
as a man with autism i can agree it took me a while till i realized my biological sex and chose to stick to ti when i reached puberty. if we let children’s who suffer geder dysphoria go through puberty theyll stick to their biological sex like i did. i was born a male, i will live a male, i will die a male
What about all those trans people who didnt transition and did what you did, they suffer at 70 years old today and wish they transitioned as kids. No one grows out of being trans, it’s only some people are gender confused and they grow out of it, but real trans kids never grow out of it, they take it to the rest of their life where their growth and fulfilling life is in ruins.
Laughs in 40% success rate.
Amen
It seems like a curious bait-and-switch to me that this “open letter” begins with Donna proclaiming why she knows her son on a deeper, truer level than he knows himself, but then proceeds to spend the rest of the article describing him from middle school onward using only the most painfully on-the-nose stereotypes of the “gifted, but troubled youth.” I find myself almost tempted to question whether or not Donna has a son to begin with, or perhaps is simply a rather shockingly lazy and uninspired would-be fiction writer.
Taking her word that she does, though, the letter, in its reliance on banal made-for-TV stereotyping, seems to do quite the opposite of demonstrating that “mother knows best.” If there’s anything that’s a surefire way to deter a thoughtful teenager from heeding your counsel, it’s this unnerving air of know-it-all condescension.
Most full grown adults don’t like to be talked down to with such unbearable smugness either: I know you better than you know yourself. Some people eventually break down and swallow this bitter pill of self-flagellation and capitulation; many of them are probably the same people who tell you to quit your bitching and wear the damn mask, get the damn jab. The authority figure knows what’s in your best interest better than you do, after all.
For the record, this is coming from someone who generally agrees with the point that it’s a grave mistake to be quick to pin the impenetrable fog of angst and confusion that generally tends to accompany adolescence, on the teen’s experience being indicative of gender dysphoria/transgenderism. Maybe your son really is trans, maybe he isn’t. Time will tell. Either way, I can only imagine that any person with a healthy sense of self-respect would, if anything, be left more inclined to pursue the route of medical transition after being pelted with such cloying patronization.
‘Deeper, truer level than he knows himself’
This is exactly the kind of woketard nonsense that is destroying western culture.
Agreed. No problem with trans folks at all. But the set of ideas some of them support is the stupidest, most irrational and actually harmful ideologies I’ve ever encountered.
Anti-trans propaganda
Nobody wants to play these people’s pretend games. Fuck you
I don’t think this is, “Anti-trans” propaganda, at all.
I have found that questioning a lot of the craziness around the current trans fad is often seen quite simplistically as “Anti-trans.”
I can’t speak for other people, but I do see a very dangerous fad happening, and no, I am not going to simply accept a little kid 9 or 10 years old, or a teen declaring themselves “trans” without doing some very serious
questioning, and counseling,
The trans cult is also deeply narcissistic, hypocritical, and misogynistic. It benefits men solely, and skews rape statistics (if you self identify as female and you rape an actual woman, guess how it’s recorded) especially in prisons, where men are increasingly being housed with women due to this backwards nonsense. It forces narrow definitions of womanhood and changes the meaning of actual medical terms to acquiesce to the demands of the untreated deeply mentally ill. Who is the home health secretary now? And who receives massive amounts of money in pharma stocks skyrocketing when children are put on hormones for life or mutilated by needless surgeries? This child sounds like he needs some support possibly for asd. I’m glad his parent is speaking out but I do think as asd people seem to be more susceptible to targeting by well meaning but short sighted idiots with no perspective or life experience, this should be addressed more than it is.
Well said, this madness needs to end.
I’m queer, weird, mostly gay, creative, untamed and a lot more. I’m 37 now and finally feel like i’m in touch with my true, weird self. Though live has been rough at times, especially as a teenager, I truly feel blessed for all those moments. It made me the person I am today. Strong, independent, tad weird, emotional and creative. I have rediscovered life and discovered I can handle anyone and anything. Throw me a curveball and I will hit it to the moon!
Anyhow, I wanted to thank you for your letter. Would have loved a letter like that when I was younger. Someone who would say, “your weird and that’s wonderful.” I had great parents, but they did not see my struggles (I was very closed of). Please keep being an honest, loving mom for your son and tell him he’s great. He will grow up to be a wonderful person for sure.
Thanks for your letter. Somehow really resonated with how I felt most of my life.
All the best,
Hans.
Hans. So glad to read a bit of your story, and that you feel strong.
Was recently listening to JP Sears and his, “Say YES to your weirdness.”. : )
A big chunk of modern societies problems come down to social media. It has the effects of 1) that digital “disconnect” where people feel comfortable being vastly ruder, more aggressive and downright mean then they ever would be in person. 2) we can tribalize into the most bizarre and sometimes dangerous groups and then feed off each other in a dangerous form of group think (like a cult). Something that was much more difficult to do before the internet existed, and became even easier with the growth of social media.
And the worst, #3: it feeds people’s narcissistic tendencies. You can’t go out in public anymore without seeing someone taking over the head angled selfies, and constantly fretting over what to put up on their “wall” their “insta” or their tiktok. Ive seen many articles talking about how the younger generations are focused on “experiences” and not “things” but its far more insidious then that. They are focused on “seen experiences”. They don’t just want to go to that concert, or hike that trail, or visit that city. They want everyone to see them enjoying that concert, they want everyone to see how fit they are as they hike that trail, and they want everyone to see how cosmopolitan they are when they visit that city.
And they feed their neuroses the whole time. If you dare to not be impressed or excited enough they get angry and tell you how you “disempower” them or how your negative “energy” is harmful to their well being, etc etc.
People’s obsession with being seen, being “heard” and keeping up with the “joneses” is destroying their well being.
I’ve been asked by younger friends how I can be so happy while also dealing with a chronic illness that will result in either a transplant or my death. And its simple: I enjoy living. Not comparing my life with someone else’s, or being upset at the things I can’t have or can’t do, but just enjoying the ones I can do and the ones I have. A computer game is cheap. A movie with the wife on Netflix is cheap. A good fiction novel is cheap/free. If those three things are all that life had left to offer me I would still be content.
Stop defining your worth based on what others think, or what you think others think (because often those “others” don’t care one way or another. Their too busy trying to keep up with *your* “insta” and *your* tiktok.
A lot of very good points raised in this article. It saddens me that it was labeled hate speech and censored from medium, we need more conversations about these issues.
I would also add that gender IS partially subjective as a social/relational/cultural construct. While biology does play a role, it isn’t as rigid as everybody likes to think.
Any hunter gatherer society in history would have probably seen me as a woman because I enjoy things like gathering more than things like hunting. They’d see my facial hair and that I have male reproductive organs, but they’d also see my lower stature, that I have more fat than muscle, and that I’m much more attracted to men than women. Because of that they’d probably see me as a woman with a giant clitoris who can’t bear children and whose vagina is in the back.
I disagree with them about that, I’m still definitely a guy. But their perspective would still let them notice things about me more easily which aren’t as salient to me. This is because human beings are fricking complicated and multidimensional!
And yet despite that the idea that whether someone is trans or not can vary with the cultural context isn’t something I hear people talking about. As if they don’t really understand gender’s partial subjectivity at all on a gut level despite their claims that gender is entirely subjective.
I would also point out that in older more sexually segregated patriarchal societies, where women *actually* were seen as good for nothing but sex and childrearing, men were often much more likely to turn to younger guys for romantic love and for the passionate type of sex—while only using their actual female wives for loveless baby making.
Turns out when a whole society is *actually* dominated by men and hates women, same sex romantic relationships are much more common because they don’t see women as worthy of real love. And men still need love, so they would turn to each other for that rather than their wives.
That was kinda common in a lot of places in the ancient world if I recall correctly, yet almost unheard of today.
Same sex romantic relationships were stamped out over the centuries and so people who are more attracted to the same sex are kicked out of their cultures of origin and thereby cut off from the wisdom and guidance of their elders and communities. That is why *openly* same sex-attracted culture is too much “Never Never Land” and not enough “building things to last”.
I’ve been to multiple gay bars and many gay Facebook groups and Discord servers. All of them were almost exclusively filled with entertainers/creatives/let-loose types of personalities. Not the kind of men I would enjoy a committed romantic relationship with.
There were almost never any truckers/construction workers/police officers/coast guards/life guards/firefighters/etc., which is the cluster of male personality-space I’m typically most romantically and physically attracted to.
Probably the reason those types of men don’t openly have romantic relationships with guys is because they don’t want to waste their time living in Never Neverland, and they don’t want to be associated with Never Neverland. It’s not just that they’re scared of being seen as “unmasculine”.
They of course could openly have romantic relationships with guys without having to go to Never Neverland, but our whole society doesn’t get that, neither on the left nor on the right.
The left tries to emotionally blackmail me into sitting on a creepy special pedestal of rainbows and glitter in exchange for allowing me my legal right to not have the government interfering in my relationships.
And the right just hates me. But simple hatred is easier to deal with because I can understand it and argue with it. Their reasons for hating me are simple and comprehensible enough that I can actually prove them wrong.
I can’t do that with the left’s reasons for trying to worship me, because their reasoning is too convoluted and complicated to effectively argue with.
It’s much easier to just not tell liberals that I’m attracted to men, to let them assume I’m into women, and to only “come out” to conservatives.
And considering that liberals are apparently supposed to be the open-minded ones when it comes to gender and sexuality, that’s saying something.
(Spoiler alert: conservatives would have been much better at making social progress than liberals if humanity had discovered the diplomatic, path-finding and management methods before the scientific method 400 years ago.
The real main reason conservatives kept trying to tear down liberal social progress is because they were trying to level the playing field so that they don’t fall too far behind liberals.
But with the diplomatic, path-finding and management methods, conservatives can make their own form of social progress which benefits their values more (moral character development). They can start more effectively and scalably correcting what liberals get wrong without having to tear down what they got right.)
Your vagina is in the back? Please explain.
reply to commenter eudelano’s question :
This insane concept “(vagina in back”) is Woke Queer 101 Trans BULLSHIT. The idea is that the anus — your ASSHOLE — is a “back door” vagina. The term is used by a trans”man” who is a woman taking hormones with breasts cut off who playacts being a “gay man” because she is still into males not females being herself a heterosexual woman but now calling herself a “three hole faggot” (their words not mine!) because she has three holes: 1) mouth, 2) a real vagina and 3) a “back door vagina”, aka an ASSHOLE, and she is therefore a much better sexual “catch” for homosexual males than real males because the heterosexual woman playacting being a “gay man” has three holes for a homosexual male to plow instead of just two. I don’t make the news; I just report it!
Yes, this is how Queers (and Woke “allies”) think. And yes, this is COMPLETELY INSANE! And yes, “three hole faggot” as a concept is now being taught in K-12 in the Western world as axiomatic FACT and anyone who challenges this “fact” is a TrumpRacistHitlerBLAHfuggingBLAH.
Also to the previous commenter, as an OLD homosexual myself, I thank the gods I came of “gay” age long before any of this Queer bullshit happened and I know from “lived experience” that if most of my gay male peers (not trans but homosexual males) had not died of AIDS 40 years ago they would have formed the critical gay mass who would have prevented Queer from taking over — Queer happened because its potential gay resistance died.
I can sympathize with the original “back hole” commenter’s earnestness. However, projecting what you think “right wingers” believe is crazy enough, but cavemen?!? No caveman would think another caveman was a “back-hole vagina” pseudo “woman” because they’d all be too busy trying to survive so needed your lazy coward ass that’s avoiding your male duty by hiding with the women to either start having babies like the real women to continue to the tribe or get off your back hole vagina and hunt saber tooth tiger and enemy tribes with the rest of the men or they’d drag your lazy burden to the tribe back hole vagina ass to an ice floe where you’d would starve to death. No homo-trans- or back hole vagina phobia — just basic human survival, which always melts special snowflake hissy projections into shit or get off the pot reality.
The 21st century is literally human brain poison. Is it in the water? Probably. But the real culprit is social media smart phones that have rewired/infected every human under the age of 40 with massive brain damage causing millennia-long human common sense to metastasize into a childlike irrational delusional hysteria about everything as their sole world view. I am living in The Invasion of the Body Snatchers, surrounded by egomaniacally self-blinded livingdead smartphone podpeople. They are Woke , past tense, because they are not Awake, present tense — that would involve facing the reality outside their own heads (prisons of escape).
Memoir anecdote: Living through late 20th century civilizational decadence was fun but being alive through early 21st century civilizational collapse is not.
Harry, and Jorgensen.
Enjoyed reading through your posts. You both sound like quite the interesting fellows.
I have come across some gays, butch women writing online that despise all this weird-trans-wokey dokey stuff, or whatever one calls it.
I am not homosexual but I sure am glad I wasn’t growing up with this garbage either. Would have been so destructive for me, and so I see how destructive it can be. I am floored that so many adults have no backbone, and just go along with it all, to get along I guess.
You guys need to be out there talking to the young confused kids.
Having read about Dr. Zucker in Canada, who worked with gender confused kids, he found as they grew up, most of them turned out to be gay. So, from what I gather, it is of upmost importance for these kids to have good counseling, and encourage them to wait it out until they are eighteen to see how they will develop, and feel.
I had not heard of that “three hole” thingy. Gadz. And if they are teaching this garbage to the kids in school, the parents really need to get cracking on that, and put an end to it.
On the subject of men turning to boys for sex in very dominant patriarchal cultures, yes, and this practice still goes on especially in Afghanistan. Called Bacha-bazi. (“The Dancing Boys of Afghanistan ” is one Documentary about the practice ).
Our military guys were told it was a cultural thing so nothing we could do about it, and keep their mouth shut. Don’t remember his name but one military guy was so upset he couldn’t, so started talking about it. Of course survival is a big part of that too for the young men/boys. The older men pay, or keep them a while, so they get to eat a bit better, and maybe be a bit pampered. At least for awhile.
Breaks my heart.
I came across this article while searching “why are trans women so angry?” I am a female but I don’t toss around my other “labels” because I’m private. I have a trans woman as a neighbor and I swear, I have tried to understand and even befriend her. Because I was and am weird. I’m very sensitive and often too sympathetic. This neighbor is so angry. She goes off and throws drinks in restaurants, threatens to “out” her “clients’ , goes on and on about how gorgeous she is displaying photo shopped photos as proof. Photos that look nothing like her. She has massive implants which “society forced on her”. Other than that, she’s an overweight, balding man who dropped out of high school, ostracized, her family and uses a bizarre cocktail of substances to blot out the world. And to top it all off, she insists on sex with men but they have to such her dick because that’s her preference.
All thr above leads to this…
Thank you, Jorgensen. Thank you for just putting it out there that this is all nonsense. I somehow forgot she was born in the nineties (I was in high school) and she’s just an uninteresting, unintelligent, lazy guy desperate for attention even if that means painful drama for the rest of us. And most importantly, you reminded me I’m not a bad person because for questioning her veracity.
I’m sorry you lost many loved ones to the gay cancer. Your generation were the real heroes and fought the battles and won the war that allowed people to be themselves with who they choose in public. Truly grateful.
He is NOT a “she”.
Liberate yourself from his autogynephiliac fetish. Name him (at least to yourself) as he really is: He. He is a “he”. No male is a “she”. Female humans are she. Wigs, mini skirts, make-up and chest implants do make a He into a She. They’re merely sexual stimuli that arouse as simulacra of woman-face for the autogynephile. Hatred of female women is the root of the fetish totems of all cases of autogynephilia.
Women, wake up. A paroled male murderer in England who is now an autogynophile “trans” publicly called for other trans to punch Terfs in the face. A male tells males to punch women in the face in 2023 in public and is cheered by a violence-frenzied trans/autogynephile crowd. Where is women’s rage against these men? Get angry, female humans!
Reality is the antidote to trans tyranny.
Spengler predicted it a hundred yours ago.
Secularism and Urbanism eventually give rise to decadence and civilization (as opposed to culture), which invariably leads to collapse.
We know it happened to the Apollonians and Hindus (with Stoicism and Buddhism, respectively) and have plenty of clues for other cases (Egypt, for example).
Why do you think Rome fell to a few tens of thousands of huns, when more romans died of drowning in the Punic Wars than Attila ever fielded in battle?
Biology plays the primary role.
But thank you for the woke-troll lol!
I find it very interesting that the same people who are in support of hormone therapy for young kids/teenagers also agree that a child under a certain age can not give consent to sex. Which is absolutely correct, so what makes them think that they are old enough to make such a life changing decision?
Excellent point!
The business of slicing the breasts off of teenage girls sure strikes me, and some victims of this have described it as such, right on the edge of Nazi medical experimentation. The entire brouhaha would make an excellent modern addition to the seminal 19th century work “Extraordinary Popular Delusions and the Madness of Crowds.”
Good for you mom. No one knows your kid better than you. Ignore the Google experts in the chats and continue to be a great mom.
I mean, I’d say her potentially trans child knows themself better than she does, but go off…
⚡Believe Moms⚡: There’s Something Else Going on With Trans Teens
💥🚨💥 So when a mom says “hey, my kid isn’t trans, he’s just weird, and he’s just fine” we say yes – we believe you. Because you are a mom.
https://newdiscourses.com/2021/04/believe-moms-theres-something-else-going-on-with-trans-teens/
Beals – I don’t know when a child begins knowing themselves better than their parents do (I’m sure it happens at some point) but it seems unlikely that that would happen before they leave the home. How could it?
Here’s how I see it.
It’s not a stretch to say that perhaps into the 20’s, a person’s life consists of regular life-altering experiences and changes that are all completely new to them. During this time, pretty much every aspect of their life is in a constant state of change; from new schools and friends, to even the nature of their social environment and interactions. Their interests are constantly changing, their skills are evolving, and even their core beliefs are shape-shifting. To say nothing of the constant, rapid, changes in their body including the development of the brain and the sex organs.
At any given stage, a youth may be able to relate to someone what their current status is on any of the issues listed above but this is very different than ‘understanding’ them. To understand them requires a breadth of context and it’s impossible for them to have any context for these things because they’re always new to them.
For example, my son fully believes he will be a professional hockey player. I don’t question his belief. In fact I applaud it because it drives him to good outcomes. However, he doesn’t fundamentally understand that this, among his many other sports interests, are phases that will look very different in 10 years than they do now. They will evolve and likely even be supplanted with other priorities. I can see and understand this because I’ve been through those very same phases. Also, he literally can’t fathom that the person he is totally smitten with today is almost definitely not going to be his companion for the rest of his life. He lacks experience and context, which means he lacks understanding about these core aspects of himself.
A person best suited to help them navigate these waters will require 2 things to be of proper help: 1. knows the individual to the nth degree and 2. has the advantage of having already experienced all these things. The best friend may know them well but doesn’t have the experience. A teacher/mentor may have the experience but doesn’t have the opportunity to truly know the individual. So ideally, the attentive parent is perfectly suited to help and should.
…the more i’m thinking about it, the more i’m realizing how much of a parent’s role is to help their children understand themselves better.
PS if i’m off base or you see it differently, please share.
John P – That was very right on, and well stated.
Have fun being dad!
They really don’t. Hence the documented 80% who detransition.
MarcAIE do research!! It is actually less than 8% that detransition, closer to about 4%.
“Himself”, not “themself”. You need to work on your English. You sound ignorant.
And, no, 15 YOs have no idea what is going on. The mom does know. And there is no “trans”. There is “gender-deluded”.
it’s spelled “themselves”. you need to work on your English and they/them pronouns are used very often in people’s daily lives.
and while 15-year-olds may not know what is going on it doesn’t mean you get to call them stupid, maybe they are trans, maybe they’re not. Mom’s aren’t always right, if your mom said “hey go jump off a building you’ll be fine” does that mean that you have to do it simply because she’s your mom? no
there is no “gender-deluded” but there is trans, if you gave yourself the chance to be more open-minded and do research I’m sure you’ll understand
Exactly, trans children NEVER ever grow out of it, because it never changes, theres a lot of science to back it up, no one grows out of being trans, the same like no one grows out of being heterosexual or gay. Period. Trans people are born that way, and are trans even at 70 years old and stay miserable the whole life, never being able to have sex, to have any desires, any fulfilling life, and that just speakingf about those who dont take their life till then. Incredible how many ignorant people are selected to spread cult propaganda. Transsexuality is a thousands years old condition that is fully natural.
PS: Those who detransition have never been trans, because transition itself is understood in medical community across the whole world as part of the diagnosis itself, if you detransition, you have not been trans. The hormones can reveal to their body if it is right, detransition is a revelation and necessary step if disgnosis is not determined by then yet, its the last stage. If you asked gender therapists who knew about this for 4 decades know, then uou’d know transition/detransition is part of the diagnosis.
Depends what you mean by “Trans” if it is the uber LGBTQI+++ tent definition then almost anyone fits or if transexual/ transmed then almost no is “Tran” .And no the science is fuzzy on the later with some small studies showing brain differences..most quoted studies are junk .And No most 15 could not make sense of it without non ideological professional counseling over a period of time ( ” Gate keeping ” ). DON’T be an Allie be honest to your level of actual knowledge ( Not lived experienc )
“Moms”, no apostrophe, aren’t always right. Neither is your English.
You clearly aren’t educated on this subject at all. Science proves and explains transgenderism.
My gender dysphoria started when puberty started for me when I was about 12 years old. I started transition at 33 years old as the dysphoria was still present and was making me incredibly depressed.
Transgenderism isn’t entirely psychological and is classified and recognised as a medical condition, not a psychological disorder. Decades of study have shown there are several biological influences that play a part in transgenderism. Interestingly these biological factors are linked to mechanics that play a part in the function of biological sex.
I waited 4 years for professional medical help and went through extensive therapy before I transitioned. I don’t have autism and there is nothing wrong with me psychologically apart from the depression and social anxiety caused by gender dysphoria. I just have gender dysphoria which makes me transgender. After transitioning the depression and anxiety disappeared.
My mother didn’t think I was trans but then she wasn’t properly educated on the subject like a lot of people in the comments here but I most definitely do have gender dysphoria and taking the time to properly figure it out and transition was the best thing I have ever done for myself and my happiness.
Some people genuinely have gender dysphoria.
Some troubled young people and even adults get confused or think they are trans when they are not due to other underling issues/trauma.
There is a small amount of de-transitioners due to people being confused and not actually being trans and not going through the proper medical process unlike I did where I waited 4 years and did soul searching and had extensive therapy. If you don’t have gender dysphoria and instead have underlying issues/trauma then this will be picked up by the medical professionals during therapy.
Doing some research into intersex biology will also give you a clearer and more comprehensive understanding of biological sex and how it isn’t as perfect as a lot of uneducated people seem to think it is.
Transgenderism is a real scientific phenomenon with evidence to prove it.
All anyone has to do is do some research and learn about it, then it will all make sense.
I know, right. It’s not like people change once they pass their teenage years, is it?
Teenagers don’t know shit about themselves. I was so confused about my identity as a teenager and then I grew up. But you know… go off. 🙄
Amazing seeing so many people here advocating in favor of child abuse to satiate their own egos and reaffirm their own hate.
It is always interesting that people want their own decisions affirmed by others and therefore seek recruits.
thank you, this article was so triggering… also the title??? i cant imagine how this parents child must feel if they read this. absolutely disgusting… also so much of the information is false.
Histrionic commenter wrote: “…so triggering… much of the information is false.”
WRONG.
You are behind the times, Swampy.
The tide is turning. The Trans Medical-Industrial Complex is a $1.5 billion Big Pharma/Big Medical corporate profit-machine that mutilates mentally ill kids whose parents are bullied by an online cult into pretending psycho-social development problems are “transgender”. At last, the Trans Industrial Complex is collapsing under the weight of its own hubris and psychopathy.
The Lies are coming from within the Trans house. And those Trans Lies (Inc.) are being exposed as the real child abuse (as well as the real misogyny and hatred of homosexuals). Get ready for the fall-out when the House of Transkenstein is brought down by its own bloated power abuses. Trans has spit into the faces of too many people, abused so much public goodwill and patience, and now that public is getting very very angry across numerous “intersectional” societal groupings around the world. Trans’ 15 minutes of fame is finally up.
Here’s the truth about Trans from the UK in Oct 2022 (the Tavistock Trans-Mutilation Centre has been closed!):
“The proposed NHS guidance casts aside a central tenet of trans ideology: the idea that some people are born ‘transgender’. Instead, doctors are to be reminded that ‘in most pre-pubertal children, gender incongruence does not persist into adolescence’. In other words, most ‘trans children’ grow out of it. It is a phase. A new, holistic approach to treatment will consider autism and mental-health issues as possible causes of what it calls ‘gender incongruence’. The guidance also advises that ‘social transition’ – which includes changing a patient’s name, pronouns or the way that they dress – should no longer be regarded as a ‘neutral act’.”
https://www.spiked-online.com/2022/10/25/the-nhs-is-pushing-back-against-trans-ideology/
ps to another hysterical commenter above: “LGB-T” is a manufactured LIE. I know. I was there when it was invented by Trans in the 1990s. There are homosexual and bisexual men and women. Period. None are “LGB-T” which is a fake name that Trans invented so it could steal the gay and women’s movements to wear as a culturally-appropriated Victim Inc. skin suit. Trans has painted itself into a corner using children as its human shield. Bad move. Very bad move.
NHS did need to change how they managed young people yes. However transgenderism isn’t an ideology. It’s a medical condition. Transgenderism has been around since the dawn of time. There is historical evidence going back thousands of years. There is also scientific evidence that shows biological influences. Not everything you have said is true. Please properly educate yourself and stop misleading people.
You are a disgrace, anyone who is spewing misinformation and bullshit in the comments. Fuck you, disgusting. I can’t believe someone could be that hostile towards the transgender community, get educated and accept modern research.
This kid sounds like a bit like Sheldon from Big Bang theory except he’s more self aware. He’s might have adhd combined with being on the autism spectrum. Of course he doesn’t feel he fits in with the other high school boys, he’s not like them and that’s ok. I wonder of he had friends or if he was isolated/lonely. As someone who has been obese since childhood and recently diagnosed adhd (which looks different in women, btw) I understand feeling “other”.
Lol that would be a hysterical episode of Young Sheldon if he was all like “mother, I have come to the scientific conclusion that I am a transgender woman”
But Sheldon was smart, not mentally ill. You want him to be mentally ill. Trans is mental illness.
Transgenderism isn’t a psychological disorder. Studies have shown there are biological influences. So mentally ill doesn’t even apply. What is mentally ill is you righting hateful comments about subjects you clearly aren’t educated in.
I don’t think the primary takeaway from this piece is “transgenderism is all made up” as many people here seem to be thinking. The much more interesting point it emphasizes is that developing children shouldn’t be 100% trusted with the sort of self-identification that can drastically impact the rest of their lives.
If a kid is confused about whether she’s gay or straight, it’s not a big deal if she gets it wrong because there is no life-altering operation that comes with it. Life experiences will settle her into whatever sexual preference is right for her. Transgenderism is a fundamentally different case, and we absolutely should be encouraging people to be completely sure that this label is appropriate for them before they proceed to do anything about it, especially if they’re being encouraged by people who don’t even know them.
Statistics of people regretting their sex change operations should be well known, and so should statistics of people *not* regretting their operations. The whole point of something like this letter is to disperse information that isn’t commonly considered so that people make more informed decisions, not to serve as a “slam dunk” against the very concept of transgenderism.
There is no “trans”. There is “gender-delusion”. This kid is suffering from gender-delusion psychosis. The concept of “trans” is completely false.
One question, be it private or public schools, the odd grades were always the tougher ones.
However, if it wasn’t until the 7th grade, ” … school finally started to require some effort, and it turned out you were pretty disorganized,” what school was your son attending?
For me, a private school, and the year was 1969, the level was kindergarten, and we were required to demonstrate more than just “some effort.”
We had to give 100% of our attention 100% of the time to the curriculum. There was no such thing as disrupting the teacher or interrupting a fellow student. You got removed from the classroom—end of the nonsense.
They did have the option of making us stand in a corner or sit on a stool. It seemed to have depended on the discretion of the teacher on what would be the call.
If we got sent too many times to the corner, we would get addressed before roll call the following day, and it got made very clear one more outburst, and we would not be allowed back in the class.
Parents would get a phone call that same evening, as well.
What this kid needs is some Dead Kennedys or some Slayer records.
A mosh pit, nor some fairy wings.
Most rock/punk crowds are LGBTQ+ so…
This is me. I’m weird! I was awkward and shy and hung out with the weird kids… I dated guys but was quite awkward with the whole thing… I was a tomboy, and had weird dreams and feelings about girls… at some point I wore boys shorts and shirts… if I was growing up now, I would have fallen into the trans cult.
It was only as an adult that I really started to understand myself… and then began to accept myself…
This letter is the truth that most of these children need to hear!
Your not trans, your just weird (or in my case, a weird, bisexual tomboy). And that’s perfectly fine, and we love you just the same.
Obligatory “Are you me?” because “weird, bisexual tomboy” is pretty much the only way I can describe myself when it’s assumed I’m trans.
This is also a deeply homophobic movement. It is conversion therapy by a new name. As the author rightly points out, these are children who haven’t discovered their own bodies sexually yet, which happens with other partners as you get older. You can’t know whether you’re happy with your body until you’ve had a chance to experience it sexually as an adult. Only then should such life-altering decisions be made. Gender is structured as heteronormative, so any gay kid is not going to feel comfortable with the gender expectations of his/her sex, since part of gender is to be attracted and attractive (to) the OPPOSITE SEX, and gay kids can’t conform to that. It should not come as a surprise that Jayne Ozanne, a leading member of the Government’s LGBT+ Advisory Panel is also a conservative Christian!!!! Wake up! This movement is homophobic!
I see so many kids pressured these days. My 18 year old niece was gender-fluid and now is trying to come out as trans. But really she’s just a weird kid. My cousin was also weird and SUPER identified with female characters when we were growing up, so I found it odd that that cousin is trans and taking testosterone. There are a lot of incongruities. But the social credit that you get by going along with this nonsense is frightening and kids will do anything to feel included.
Yeah I’m sure you know these people than they know themselves
Beals,
Thank you for displaying your arrogant and shallow method of “thinking” in your response to John P !
The real term should be “volster”, or “voluntary sterilization”. That’s what these kids are doing to themselves.
When I was a teenage boy in high school in the ’60s I was “weird”. I had few friends, I read books all the time, I listened to classical music, I screwed up in class, and I couldn’t talk to girls. The latter I attributed to extreme shyness and lack of confidence. I suppose today I would be diagnosed by some ridiculous school district quack psychologist with one of the currently faddish mental disorders caused by peanuts or vaccinations or something. I never had any urge to put on a dress and pretend I was a girl, but if I had attempted to pull any such nonsense my old man would have put an abrupt and absolute stop to it in about half a second. I am endlessly thankful that I was a kid then, instead of now.
Me too. I never had any interest in being a girl. I was a nerd. I had interests in being IN a girl.
George… Haha. : )
How is this hate speech??? The Trans Mengeles are the hateful ones.
Because its true!! The sick people pushing transgender need it to go away. This is the letter I would give my son because it is so true and he is brainwashed and it kills me.
This is so sad…let our children find their way…this is why there are so many suicides’..to me anyway…my brother was a strange child…never found his way with prescribed drugs… he took them
for at least 30 years…without them he was really awful…(not his fault)…he scared a lot of people…
with his strange behavior…I won’t go through that…he eventually died of multiple cancers…never
had a real life…so sad…it was so hard on all of us in our family too…prayers for these kids..
do not do the surgery route please…it makes things worse…oh well…I pray one day they will find out why this happens…
I don’t know if you need to hear this. But I am sorry. I am struggling as a Grandmother of 5 beautiful Grandbabies. I worry all the time in a world that seems to be against them. I pray for everyone especially the lost because I know how hard it is to be alone. The world is a harsh place especially if you don’t have tribe.
… … … … … …
Kids do not need to be making these kinds of decisions. The “expert crowd” that supports sex change at a young age are the ones who will be vilified in the future like the people who supported the experiments at the Tuskegee institute. Young people need time to grow up before doing things that can injure them for life.
The experts supporting Trans change for young people are after money. What the kids really need is Love and someone to be there .
I can relate to this person’s son a lot, though I’m female. I’m on the spectrum, have had mental health issues, and am proudly “weird.” I also know what it’s like to wonder if that weirdness is attributable to something a lot deeper. I remember being young and flirting with the idea of being gender-neutral or acting more boyish, wondering if I could be more authentically myself by distancing myself from femininity; I remember even wondering if I was really fully human – maybe I was something else in a human body. Had I been born a few years later, I could have been led down the road of identifying as “otherkin;” I might have even gone down the trans path but I think otherkin is more likely for me.
To play devil’s advocate, do we know for a fact this kid isn’t trans? Of course, this could be a kid who’s heard that feeling uncomfortable in your body, feeling like you’re different, and feeling an affinity for the opposite sex are signs of being trans and has run with it. But someone can be “weird” and trans. Someone could be trans and have other neurological and psychological issues. Maybe this kid has thought about it and researched it more than his mother knows. Maybe this parent should wait to see how the next few years play out instead of being 100% certain she’s right.
Thank you.
Do we know for a fact that the kid isn’t trans?
Yes, we do know that. No one is trans. Or rather, trans is something that you DO, not something that you ARE. There is no test for trans, no such thing as being the opposite sex of the sex you are. Trans is a cultural phenomenon, a social performance based upon many internal & external factors. This kid may choose some day to live a trans life, and that would be okay. But he’s not “really trans” because no one is.
Exactly.
Yes!! Nicely put!
You clearly aren’t educated in this subject. So many people aren’t and they are causing extra hate towards people with a recognised medical condition know as gender dysphoria. It’s very real, it’s backed and proved by science. The science is there, you just need to learn it. Transgenderism has been around since the dawn of time. There is historical evidence that goes back 1000s of years so no it’s not a cultural phenomenon. The awareness of gender dysphoria/transgenderism has increased over the years that’s all. Transgenderism has been studied thoroughly for decades. Please properly educate yourself before making comments.
How do we know? Because “trans” is a complete lie and false idea.
The term weird connotes something unnatural, abnormal and such. It’s not a good word to use for people who just think differently. Unusual or different would be a better use of words to indicate what is being said. In their zeal to categorize peoples differences they come up with a bunch of nonsense and they think they are doing good but in reality they are just making things worse. Creative thinking and open mindedness is something to be lauded not vilified.
No, “weird” is an affectionate term for many people. I have always been a proud weirdo and all of my friends use the term as a descriptive compliment, as the mom does here.
There’s also “eccentric”, but that used to be saved for those of us who were weird but have money.
“Creative thinking and open mindedness is something to be lauded not vilified.”
Creative thinking and open-mindedness logically includes the use of the adjective “weird” in reference to oneself and others. Context determines its connotation, and every conceivable–and inconceivable–context is open to creative thinking and open-mindedness.
I will say this mom is, by far, one of the greatest advocates for her son, I have ever read.
I ought to know. Had I been born in this era, I would have succumbed to the demonic and blasphemous siren call of transgenderism, which is merely the latest ‘phase’ of ‘gay lib’ BS talk. The idea that somehow, God messed up when assigning gender, sex, masculinity, you name it. It’s all the same. Being a MAN. And those who would convince boys they aren’t men, should be shot.
Society is WRONG, the Gays are WRONG, the Trannies are SICK, and the Perverts who want to destroy our children, are committing CRIMES AGAINST HUMANITY on a MASSIVE scale, and must be stopped.
Because I chose NOT to submit to my mis-directed lusts at an early age, I am in a unique position to speak, even as I remain anonymous, and even though I tried very hard to ‘fit in’ to the ‘gay subculture.’ However, EVERYTHING I saw about it, repulsed me. EVERYTHING. From the moral vacuity, the disregard for other people, the trashy talk, the bitchiness, the STD’s, Aids, the illegitimate political activism for a sexual perversion- all of it, I turned my back on, forty years ago. And got married- to a woman, a Christian, and someone who was willing to help me ‘save myself from this perverse generation.” [ Acts 2:40] No, we don’t have sex- and, as we age, it doesn’t matter. The Church has many examples of husbands and wives who have led chaste lives, for a reason, I have been permanently psychically scarred from my forays into Sodom, INC. I am a ‘voluntary celibate,’ because I want eternal life, more than ‘the pleasures of a season.’ Do we love each other? Yes. She illumines my every day, and I would lay down my life for her, because of her selflessness in redeeming this sinful, pitiable man.
But…. I AM a Man, because of her.
And NO ONE should have that divinely-bestowed gift denied them.
People like you aren’t helping anything with your hatred. Gay people are born gay and that has nothing to do with the question of whether it is appropriate to give children puberty blockers. You are a bigot and you hide behind scripture because you are a coward.
@Anon,
Your fervent religiosity has persuaded you to misread this mom’s letter.
She is not warning her son against identifying as transgender, homosexual, or anything else other than heterosexual. She is simply telling her son that his confused thoughts and feelings about various aspects of himself, including his sexuality, are “weird”, i.e. within the typical range of human developmental experience , and that he has several years of maturation ahead of himself before he figures himself out, and that he must not do anything rash (take hormones, undergo physical alterations, etc.), due to his being in a condition of self-ignorance and immaturity that he will likely regret, or worse, when he is older and wiser about himself.
As for you, I can only speculate that your religious zealotry is your attempt at concealing deep self-hatred and self-disowning, a very common psychological problem among devout religionists.
Col. Edward….
Just because this guy decided to NOT live a “gay lifestyle” doesn’t mean he hates himself.
There have been those gays that made decisions similar to his, for similar reasons.
There has been a lot of sick decadence within the gay world. Especially the time he was in it. He was being pretty realistic about it.
What you have said clearly shows you know absolutely nothing of transgenderism or anything LGBT+. You are spreading hate and misinformation. The science is there to prove and explain these things, you just need to learn it before writing hateful comments. Please properly educate yourself as you are the one that sounds mentally ill.
Excellent! Thank you for having the courage to say it. Finding the perfect sex life is not easy. I have had some really good sexual encounters, but I was generally such an obnoxious ass that I drove them away. Slowly I am learning.
I drove cab in Seattle in the 70s and 80s, night shift. It provided a fascinating window on the world. We had direct line phones in many of the gay bars – they were excellent customers. Not nearly as drunk as the guys in the good old boy bars, and they usually tipped well. I would frequently get passes, but they were rarely seriously obnoxious. Nonetheless, the regular lustful, virtual licking of the lips looks got hard to take. I had numerous trips with Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence. Some of the most obnoxious people on the planet. Full-time hedonism is not good. It’s no accident that the AIDS epidemic afflicted gay men. I’ve had numerous gay friends who were decent people, I honestly don’t think I’m homophobic, but there are many gay men I want nothing to do with. Arm’s-length is the policy in a big way. Lesbians are rarely the same sort of problem in my experience.
Looking back on my own fraught adolescence, I have no doubt whatsoever that, were I young today, I would be under tremendous pressure to define myself as “trans male,” simply because I was never “girly.” Fortunately it was the right cultural moment to find traditional religion rather than sexual confusion as a way of life.
It’s utterly horrible.
Donna, the author, — clearly anti-LGTB, pretends to be a parent writing a concerned letter to their supposedly LGTB son, but it is obvious to me, as a writer, I see right through this bullshit writing that is intentionally styled to evoke sympathy from readers who know nothing about LGTB issues and struggles.
It is a pretense for assaulting LGTB people!
About the most nasty thing I have ever seen you posted.
Rather than letting Donna off the hook by saying she are clueless, I am instead going to say she is guilty as hell — knowingly so — for posting and hence promoting this vile bullshit disguised as sympathy.
Carefully read everything in the long 2nd to the last paragraph. It’s packed with known lies regarding LGTB people, “excusing” their behavior as ADHD or other issues that will “naturally resolve” themselves, if the kid being addressed just waits a few more years.
OMG
Nice lunatic rant, Bernhard.
Giving impressionable children puberty blockers is abuse. Recognizing this does not make one a bigot.
However, the other two lunatics who commented here clearly are bigots. Pitiful excuses for human beings full of hatred.
I am knowledgeable about transgender people and LGBTQ issues and struggles. This letter/article is as far from horrible. You state, “packed with known lies regarding LGTB people”, then point out what is stated about ADHD and “other issues” but shove them together as if this is what is stated and it is not. If you research the information in the “article” you would find it to be true and based in medical research that is widely known. It is a well known fact that the Transgender community makes statements and says its based on studies but when someone research’s a topic in this area, such as its not ADHD or some other cause, its actually that the person is Transgender, there is no such research to back the statement up. There is years and years of research to show just the opposite and is in line with what is said in the article concerning ADHD and Autism. It is sad that you have not done the research but are repeating what was told to you and this is part of the problem today in our society. Also, there is no bases for your claim, “pretense for assaulting LGTB people”. there is nothing in this article promoting violence or any type of action being requested so your statement is in fact wrong. You need to read this article again and then look at medical studies, look at the numbers of Transgendered people who are transitioning back but yet so much damage has been done to their bodies by that time. Look at the numbers of suicides by young people who realized they made a mistake. I have and its staggering that its not being shouted by everyone and people that think that transitioning will solve all there problems are told that is not true. That more neutral counseling be mandated and that children should NEVER be allowed any type of medication that will damage there bodies such as sterility later as an adult. We as parents, it is our job to protect our children, not give or allow drugs that will damage there bodies. If a child wants to act and dress as the opposite gender is fine but to perpetuate Transgenderism as absolute and no risk answer is abhorrently wrong, shown by the numbers of suicides later when a person feels they made a terrible mistake but the damage is done.
From what you have said you clearly AREN’T educated in this subject. Transgender identity is generally found in less than 1% of the worldwide population. Of that less than 1% the amount of de-transitioners is between 1-8%. The amount of children that de-transition is around 2.5% of the transgender youth and the gender identity of the rest remain the same. ADHD or autism isn’t directly linked with gender dysphoria. There are trans people with no ADHD or autism that suffer from gender dysphoria. Please educate yourself properly and stop misleading people.
Anon. – your bigotry and hatred isn’t welcome here. Please take your name calling and threats to some other forum or better yet – keep them to yourself.
“And they’ll know we our Christians by our love, by our love. Yes they’ll know we are Christians by our love”–lyrics from “We are One in The Spirit”, a Christian hymn written in the 1960s.
Anon, thank you for displaying your Christian love to Bernard. You are such an admirable and inspiring example of it !
@Bernard,
Instead of uncritically absorbing, promoting, and defending the propaganda about LGBT, specifically transgender identification, I suggest that you allow yourself to choose to educate yourself about gender dysphoria and its causes during pre-natal development.
Trans insanity is not good, and trans pimps should be taken out and put in the desert.
It’s not insanity. Its a medical condition. It’s been thoroughly studied for decades and is backed by science. Studies show there are several biological influences that play a part in gender dysphoria so it isn’t entirely psychological so insanity has nothing to do with it. The science is there, you just need to learn about it. What is insanity is writing hateful comments on a subject you clearly aren’t educated in. Please properly educate yourself.
J: I don’t deny that dysphoria in numerous sorts of manifestation is real. The big issue is how to best respond. The hubris of we humans thinking we can somehow improve on millions of years of evolution is not good. I’m sorry, transgender surgery does not work. It bestows freak for life status. You will never have the full potential of strengths that are available to either gender with intelligent self development. Some who detransition refer to it as not unlike Nazi surgical experimentation. I would not wish it on my worst enemy. Experimentation with any sort of gay lifestyle is far preferable, IMHO.
thankyou!
No, you just believe in order to be accepting you can’t hold actions accountable nor criticize beliefs. There used to be a time the LGBT community was able to have in depth discussions about their faults, but tines have changed and and pointing out these flaws are considered hateful. It is not hateful to say not everyone was meant to transition, it is a fact, but modern day LGBT is all about promoting acceptance so they deny it and say everyone is cut out for it. People are not that simple, issues are not black and white like you think they are. There’s people out there with genuine issues and there are even people out there who falsely assume they have these issues. Do you know how maddening it was to find out I wasted my entire childhood worrying about something I could’ve accepted through therapy? I did not need to transition, it’s not fair that people couldn’t speak up and tell me I didn’t need to, not fair to them nor me. I was told anything other than blind acceptance was hateful when it was simply assessing my situation. It wasn’t even real trans people saying this, it was girls in the exact same situation as me. Do you get what I’m saying? Do you understand why this is so important? Do you understand thousands of girls are changing themselves for no reason when there are other issues at play?
I suspect that in the future, people will look back on the practice of “gender reassignment” the same way we look back on the practice of trepanation: drilling holes in lunatics’ skulls to let the evil spirits out. In both cases a physical remedy is used to treat a mental disorder.
“My God man! drilling holes in his head is not the answer!”
-Dr “Bones” McCoy Star Trek IV
Nordic countries are putting new guidelines into place to help kids and families navigate through rough patches without jumping on the trans bandwagon. A lot of kids decide it was a mistake.
Well written and absolutely true!
The actual number of people born with the various discrepancies in their chromosomes qualifying them to be classified as some kind of not-quite-male/female, whether their genitals are malformed at birth or not, is miniscule. If you have XX or XY, you are not trans-anything if you think you are the other sex/gender, or none att all ; you have a mental disorder and need counseling, not hormones and surgery. Period, end of.
Tangent, please remove if too long or off topic:
Autists on the higher end of functionality have it expecially rough, as they always confuse statements sounding logical eith truth. Like this:
[If gender is not the same as sex, and gender roles and atributes vary between cultures and over time, then logically these roles are arbitrary. As there is no absolute objective authority on which gender role is true in the objective sense, you can freely choose or construct your own. Indeed, is it not your right to define who you are, and should not alla identities be shown the same respect?] This is seemingly logical, but it is not true as it leaves out so much it is essentially “lie by way of truth”.
It is nothing short of total quckery and abuse what all too many doctors, nurses, teachers et cetera preach as true. Not too long ago, it was touted as truth in my country that eugenics by way of enforced abortion and sterilisation as well as lifelong incarceration for even smaller developmental disorders was for the good of the community – it was removed from law, medical practice and psychitric care in the seventies.
Today, virtually everyone no matter political or other denomination decries it as an injustice, yet I remeber when it was touted as a virtue – sometimes by the same people who today denounce it.
I mention this because the whole … well thing about trans-this or that, 1/nth part whatever race, et cetera awakens so many echoes of the darkest period in our history – then it was called eugencis and Lebensraum and Kulturkampf and welfrare state. Today, the words are different but the Beast benath remans largely the same.
If this is too longwinded or too much of topic I apologise, but I have had the honour of working with people born with chromosonal discrepancies, autism/Aspergers, ADHD and related, and it horrifies me to see that today their are taught that it is their right not to learn how to function in society, that it is indeed a virtue and a goal of its own to not fit in.
And then they crash, and ruin their lives and turn to drugs, crime and a peer group whose only common value is hate.
If I may presume to implore: fight this! Anything with a whiff of critical theory, postmodernism, poststructuralism “anti”-racism, and the rest – fight it, becuse it is nothing but the old wolf Tyranny in new clothing. Disregard ideological puritanism and unite no matter creed or colour.
Yours,
Rikard, ret. teacher
You are clearly a pseudo intellectual. What you first describe with XX and XY chromosomes is intersex biology not transgenderism. Also it’s a scientific fact that intersex patients with a 46 XY karyotype, who are by definition genetically male, have gotten pregnant and have even given birth. Transgenderism is a separate subject from intersex and the fact that you haven’t realised this worrying. Transgenderism is explained and backed with science and has shown there to be biological influences when it comes to gender dysphoria. Also you seem to posses little to no knowledge on the complexities of gender that is, but not entirely sperate from, sex. Please properly educate yourself and stop trying to mislead people.
Donna M., thank you so much for writing this. Transgenderism is getting to the point where it’s indistinguishable from a eugenics program that seeks to coerce weird kids into sterilization in order to justify its existence, and it’s enraging to me to watch this happening as a former weird kid myself (I self-identified as asexual for almost a year at age 15, though I didn’t have the pressure to perform that identity the way a teen today would).
We should call out transgender ideology for what it truly is: the sexual grooming of adolescents by mentally ill men who use children as a ‘shield of compassion’ to legitimize their cross-dressing fetish. They weaponize teenage angst and suicide in order to silence those who speak up against them.
Thats absolutely not what it is, I think you’re projecting here. I’ve been in this community for years and it’s mostly made up of teen girls falsely told they can solve their problems by running away from them. One of the problems they run away from is admitting there are crossdressers who transition.
There are two groups in the LGBT community, people with genuine gender issues (dysphoria) and those without it. The majority has now turned into the minority, the community has been overrun by the same teens who obsess over mental illnesses on social media. They believe the LGBT community is perfect, that people make no mistakes, that if you aren’t blindly validating someone then you’re a bigot. They deny the existence of fetishists because they can’t justify it and sex/fetishes are enemy no. 1 for some reason, these crowds are absolutely responsible for some of the high sexual censorship we see. I’m sorry but your beliefs of “the enemy man pedo grooming innocent girls!” isn’t too far from shit they say, maybe a quick shift in politics away.
Agp is a real issue that goes UNDISCUSSED and suffered alone outside of detrans spaces and extreme feminist spaces. You paint them as evil but they’re just as lost as any woman transitioning. It’s sad to think about changing everything about yourself just to please your emotions but hey, my dysphoria dropped almost completely after T gave me confidence in my female body, mostly sexually. I confused all teen girls hating their bodies with dysphora and even fetishizing guys. It was extremely difficult to make out what I found attractive on guys vs what I wanted for myself. In the start I was all about those soft gay anime boys, that’s why I say “be yourself” instead of “be who you want to be”, the latter is extremely dangerous for mental health.
Such a profoundly true letter and I wish I’d had it in hand when an activist, posing as a friend, managed to convince my beautiful and extremely intelligent daughter that she was actually a boy. She wouldn’t listen to any of my advice and was old enough that she didn’t need my permission to chemically and surgically alter herself in ways that aren’t reversible. Sure enough, she soon realized that she really had been a woman all along, but the mental and physical scars of her decisions will be with her for life.
How sad. There is no “trans”. There is only “volster”, or “voluntary sterilization”.
There’s no ‘one size fits all’, giving the child & parents time to work it out, with help available if they want/need it, is the first humane consideration..
As an Aspie, I almost instantly understood what she meant by “weird”. I also recognized a lot of similarities with my child hood. It is not easy growing up different, and growing up in a world where you feel like an alien is darn confusing. This is a terrifying world where people are literally being fired for posting things like this. But there a lot of truths here that need to be heard. With kindness, compassion and understanding for everyone. Thank you for sharing.
“Hate Speech” just isn’t what it used to be.
Especially when you hate the gender GOD gave you….and are in rebellion against the Almighty.
Your zealotry reminds me of the “Christian soldier” Archer Maggot in the movie, “The Dirty Dozen.
The disturbing thing is that you are a 100% real-world, flesh-and-blood, living-and breathing example of that character.
Maggot got the reward he merited.
So will you and your ilk–and it will be your own doing.
There is scientific proof for transgenderism however there is no scientific proof for god. You will believe something that has no proof but disbelieve something which is backed by science and that actually has proof. Please just educate yourself and stop spreading hate.
It’s always nice when I stumble across reality on the internet.
You’re going to get a bit of hate but you truly are doing what’s best.
God bless.
To the original author,
You and your kid would be welcome in our home any day.
To James, for putting this up. Some of us still know it, and have no doubt, and will not let them take our kids. It’s a fight, we know, no illusions, but we will fight. Homeschool really helped. Not covid lockdown school, but real homeschooling. We found a whole crew of kids who have no idea they’re weird because they’ve got each other. Gifted kids need gifted kids. (Of course CRT is working hard to fix that.) But we fight on. People who have gifted kids, come join us.
The strangest thing about contemporary culture is that we have to name our weirdnesses; we can’t just be weird. We have to be autistic, or trans, or pansexual, or some other identity.
Yes – the first thing I thought of when I read this was that the child had what they used to call Aspergers Syndrome. Especially the lack of impulse control and tactile issues. Not to be hyper critical but the parents don’t differentiate between the behavior and the identity. Or maybe I’m not reading it right.
I was diagnosed with it (autism) a few years ago and after frequenting quite a few forums, FB groups and similar, I was surprised at how many other autistic people were either trans or else gender non-conforming. It seems to be that trans people are more likely to be on the spectrum than not (though this stat sits at about 55/45 so it’s not overwhelmingly likely), and there’s a case to be made that someone who doesn’t recognise social norms, or who experiences them as alien in some way (as I often do), will actively reject them, which makes it possible that they will reject some aspect of their gender, especially the idea that it’s something they themselves can’t decide.
Bandit, I agree that this parent’s child is likely on the spectrum (or, at least, I wouldn’t be surprised if they ever received a diagnosis). The tactile issues and obsessive counting pretty much gives it away. A society which demands that children be understood in terms of some category, rather than simply accepting them as children regardless of how they experience life, is a sad one. In this case, it’s sad that a child so different from others would be seen through the gender lens.
Unfortunately, in this day and age, if you and/or your kid are perceived as having issues, and you’re not in mental health services and/or enrolling your kid in special services, you’re “neglectful.”
You’re not allowed to just be a little “off.”
Kelly B. Exactly.
All those years back, had a friend who had boys. They were active, normal boys who wanted to run around. Thank goodness she was able to homeschool them, since the Ritalin craze was going around, and the schools probably would have wanted her to drug them, and she knew she wasn’t going to allow that.
Puberty and adolescence are absolutely *the worst*, and being a bit unusual doesn’t make it any easier. Sending your son love from someone who spent a long, long time coming to grips with how weird she was Back In the Day.
Excellent. Both my husband and I (in our 50s) know that if we had been given those quizzes and questions and pressures in school, from peers, teachers, doctors and media, we would BOTH be ‘trans’. No doubt whatsoever. Luckily, in the 70s and 80s we were both just ‘weird’… which, with good music and a little bit of fashion, segued into ‘cool’ by the time we were in our late teens. Still a “pair of maladjusted misfits” (see, quote from ‘Rear Window’ there – weird kids get to watch great films), both professional artists, both totally at ease with our bodies and ourselves, and feeling very, very sad for modern weird kids everywhere.
Honest to God I decided I was trans because a quiz told me so. Not even a year later I develop dysphoria. Years later I’m on testosterone…
I do admit I never mentioned it to my gender therapist but even if I did she probably would’ve given it to me anyway. Gender therapists are only there to nod their heads and enable you. Hell they even say you can’t judge a person unless you’re them, when the reason we go to therapists is because our story is written on paper, they see the flaws we miss and tell us how to fix it. Gender therapists believe everyone knows themselves 100%, especially insecure kids. Literally all I needed was confidence but I was told instead to run away from my insecurities.
This parent is caringly and lovingly trying to save their child from massive pain and suffering.
The people demanding that they not be allowed to do this and removing their words are, with all due respect, FUCKING MONSTERS.
I agree with you 100%. I was also “weird” (still am, if I’m being honest) but never this stupid “trans” crap. It’s NOT hate speech. Getting really, really sick of being described as a “hater” and “domestic terrorist” when the ACTUAL “haters” and “domestic terrorists” are the ones trying to describe me as such.
That is the tragedy of it. *Both* sides of this debate are sincerely convinced the other is horrifically wrong and that the subjects of the issue will suffer tremendous unnecessary anguish, to the point of ruining or even costing lives, if the opposition prevails. Worse, neither side trusts the other to present honest evidence for their case anymore. A more dangerous recipe for conflict I don’t know of.
One side is horrifically wrong. And many of them know it but are pushing it anyway for the cash. Consultants, surgeons, pharma industry. No different in degree than overprescription of oxy, tonsillectomy, autotoxins (hardly anybody remembers that little scam), etc. etc. Only the lawyers are going to benefit in the end, and by then the costs via legislation and bankruptcy will have been shifted magically over to the public sphere. In effect we will be paying the fees and the damage awards out of our own pockets.
This really isn’t a grounded view of the situation at all. You clearly have no experience or knowledge of this subject at all. Please stop trying to spread misinformation.
You took the words right out of my mouth Stephen. Right out of my mouth. I just hope there are enough people like you, then we may have a chance at bringing the two sides together.
Not all young people who think they have gender dysphoria and are trans are and they just need to proper guidance/help. Some get confused or have other underlying issues or trauma causing this confusion. This may be the case with the boy in the letter. However there are plenty of uneducated people writing comments here claiming that transgenderism doesn’t exist at all or it is something it really isn’t. All anyone has to do is properly educate themselves on the subject because denying its existence even when it’s backed by science is just going to hurt people with the medical condition. So to summarise, not all young people who think they are trans are but there are young people who genuinely have gender dysphoria that also need help. These people saying that transgenderism isn’t real when its backed with science are just going to hurt the young people that genuinely have gender dysphoria so if anyone actually cares about the young people as a whole they will look for a balanced solution so all young people are safer, trans or non-trans.