Social Justice Usage
Source: LGBTA Wiki, “Lithromantic” entry.
Lithromantic (also called akoiromantic) is a romantic orientation on the aromantic spectrum. Someone who is lithromantic may experience romantic attraction but does not want it reciprocated. The lithromantic person may be uncomfortable at the thought of someone being romantically attracted to them, or they may lose their romantic feelings if they learn it’s reciprocated. As such, lithromantics do not feel compelled to seek out a romantic relationship. Like with any romantic orientation, lithromantics can have any sexual orientation.
New Discourses Commentary
A lithromantic (sometimes, “lithoromantic” or “akioromantic”) is someone who is romantically attracted to people who are not romantically attracted to them in return and who are uncomfortable (or something) enough with someone being romantically attracted to them in return that they may lose their romantic attraction to that person if they learn it is reciprocated. Lithromanticism is a “romantic orientation” under the broad umbrella of queer Theory. There is, admittedly, a bit to unpack here for the uninitiated.
Within queer Theory, which is in principle against the existence of or stability of categories (see also, queering), there is a rather obsessive interest in identifying and categorizing effectively anything related to sex, gender, and sexuality in rather excruciating detail. This sometimes leads people to believe this aspect of queer Theory is mostly a narcissistic indulgence of self-absorbed and socially awkward (young) people, though these ideas are taken quite seriously within Theory and considered important to the goals of Critical Social Justice. As relationships of many kinds are in some way connected to the notion of sexuality, these are rather thoroughly Theorized as such, giving rise to a separate category for one’s sexual attraction (sexuality) and one’s romantic attraction, which are then believed to be wholly independent features of one’s overall identity in the relevant domains. Lithromantic is a “romantic orientation” in the same way that the parallel concept of “lithsexual” is considered a sexuality. One could be lithromantic or lithsexual without necessarily being the other.
Specifically, in the effort to resist stable categories in queer Theory, lithromantic is classified as a type of partial aromanticism, which means being someone who believes they do not feel romantic attraction to other people. It is a type of non-reciprocating romantic attraction that is only felt when the other person doesn’t feel it in return. That is, it is, perhaps, something like a form of social anxiety or an attachment disorder flaring up, repackaged as an identity. Functionally, this tends to prevent a lithromantic from establishing romantic relationships, thereby classifying it as a sometimes-attracted subtype of an otherwise aromantic identity. Drawing attention to this and other “orientations” and treating them as characteristic of identity is believed by advocates of Critical Social Justice to be an important part of doing queer identity politics.
Related Terms
Aromantic; Critical; Gender; Identity; Identity politics; Lithsexual; Queer; Queer (v.); Queer Theory; Romantic orientation; Sex; Sexuality; Social Justice; Theory
Revision date: 3/30/21
2 comments
I can’t understand why this word has the root for “stone” in it.
I don’t necessarily mind the precision in categories. What I find weird is how they are introducing themselves leading with the word salad of terms. Unless you are in the cult, who you sleep with is does not make you interesting. You have a lot more important stuff to share than your diagnosis and precise sexual attraction. So boring.
One thing I will defend out of all of this mess is the idea of platonic relationships being on par with romantic ones. Some of my friendships have mattered way more than relationships, and some were even really relationships in the true sense of the word w/o sex. This happened w several gay men, we were thoroughly romantic w each other in every sense.
I think downplaying a single falling in love relationship and empowering other kinds of loving relationships is not a bad thing per se, it is the way they are demanding it of everyone and stigmatizing normal relationships as basic. I think it is a compensatory thing.